Author: James Anderson
Adult Children of Alcoholics: The Lasting Impact I Psych Central
They are also more likely to display rule-breaking, aggressiveness, and impulsivity (externalizing behaviors) in childhood. With therapy and support, ACOAs can make changes in their life and treat the underlying PTSD and trauma. Talk therapy one-on-one or group counseling, somatic experiencing, and EMDR are highly effective in addressing the signs of trauma and developing new, healthy coping mechanisms. It’s especially important to remind children that their parent’s alcohol addiction is not their fault.
Therapists and other mental health professionals with experience dealing with addiction can help. Children whose parents use alcohol may not have had a good example to follow from their childhood, and may never have experienced traditional or harmonious family relationships. So adult children of parents with AUD may have to guess at what it means to be “normal.” There are several different signs and symptoms of PTSD and trauma exhibited by adult children of alcoholics. Similar to PTSD, any one symptom can be problematic and can have a negative impact on the quality of life for the individual. If you’re an adult child and lived with a parent with alcohol use disorder, there are ways to manage any negative effects you’re experiencing.
Where can adult children find support?
On the other hand, people often go in the opposite direction, mirroring the same bad behaviors they witnessed during childhood. In addition to judging themselves too harshly, some adult children of people with AUD constantly seek approval from others. They can become people-pleasers who are crushed if someone is not happy with them and live in fear of any kind of criticism. In many cases, this is because the children were coerced, manipulated, or threatened by their parents during childhood. Whether a child’s parent is receiving addiction treatment for alcohol addiction or not, it’s important to offer a safe space for the child. But exposure to AUD during childhood is a good reason to reach out to health experts and get the support needed to reduce the risk.
- Here’s a look at the psychological, emotional, interpersonal, and behavioral effects of being raised by parents who are struggling with alcohol use.
- They might eventually form unstable or unhealthy attachments to others, partially because these bonds feel familiar.
- In addition to the higher rate of selecting an alcoholic partner, ACOAs are also more likely to experience the symptoms of trauma.
A 2012 study that considered 359 adult children of parents with AUD found that they tended to fall within five distinct personality subtypes. One of these types, termed Awkward/Inhibited by researchers, was characterized by feelings of inadequacy and powerlessness. A parent’s alcohol use disorder (AUD) can have a major impact on your mental and emotional well-being — not just in your childhood, but also well into your adulthood. Alcoholic parents (now referred to as parents with alcohol use disorder or AUD) affect their children in many ways, some so profound that the kids never outgrow them. Here’s a look at the psychological, emotional, interpersonal, and behavioral effects of being raised by parents who are struggling with alcohol use. These effects can last long into adulthood and make it difficult for adult children to have healthy relationships.
Is Alcoholism Genetic?
Experts highly recommend working with a therapist, particularly one who specializes in trauma or substance use disorders. According to Peifer, a mental health professional can help you connect deep-rooted fears and wounds stemming from childhood to behaviors, responses, and patterns showing up in your adult life. Growing up with a parent with alcohol use disorder has real-life consequences for many adult children. Even long after leaving your parent’s home, you could still be dealing with the aftermath of their alcohol addiction. If you’re the child of a parent who has or had an alcohol use disorder or other substance use problems, seek out support, especially if you suspect it’s causing issues for you.
Remind children that addiction is a disease that needs treatment, just like any other disease. It’s also important to let them ask questions, and to answer as honestly as possible in an age-appropriate way. Reassure kids that they are not alone, and that there are resources to help them, which we’ll discuss more below. People who grow up in alcoholic households are more likely to develop or marry someone with AUD themselves. Exposure to alcohol and substance use disorders affects children in their development and throughout their lives.
There’s a genetic component, and growing up in a household with an alcoholic puts you at risk for many issues. But that doesn’t mean children of alcoholics are sentenced to the same disorder as their parents. Children who grow up with at least one parent with alcohol use disorder can have an increased chance of experiencing negative health and behavioral outcomes. A 2014 review found that children of parents who misuse alcohol often have trouble developing emotional regulation abilities.
How to Explain Alcoholism to a Child
These issues end up affecting their relationships in childhood, adolescence, and adulthood. They’ll see other options and learn that it is possible to experience healthy, positive emotions. There are steps you can take as an adult to address the lasting impact your parent’s alcohol use left on you. “In this process, you’ll process unresolved traumatic experiences and develop tools to formulate healthy relationships and communicate your needs,” she explains. Coping with the lasting effects of a parent’s alcohol use can be difficult, but you don’t have to do it alone. You’re not to blame if you learned to use alcohol as a means of dealing with trauma from your childhood, but you can always take action to learn new, more helpful coping mechanisms.
When you don’t learn how to regulate your emotions, you might find it more difficult to understand what you’re feeling and why, not to mention maintain control over your responses and reactions. Difficulty expressing and regulating emotions can affect your overall well-being and contribute to challenges in your personal relationships. Children largely rely on their parents for guidance learning how to identify, express, and regulate emotions.
Children of a parent with AUD may find themselves thinking they are different from other people and therefore not good enough. Consequently, they may avoid social situations, have difficulty making friends, and isolate themselves. Sherry Gaba, LCSW, is a licensed psychotherapist/author specializing in addictions, codependency, and underlying issues such as depression, trauma, and anxiety. One of the most important things you can do for a child with an alcoholic parent is to offer a sense of normalcy, even if it’s temporary. If you’re unsure where to start, you can check out Psych Central’s hub on finding mental health support.
Because he is a member of a support group that stresses the importance of anonymity at the public level, he does not use his photograph or his real name on this website. Individual therapy is a great place to start, says Michelle Dubey, LCSW, chief clinical officer for Landmark Recovery. The type of therapy you pursue may depend on the issues you’re most concerned about. Your therapist can help you determine a therapy approach that best fits your unique needs and concerns. Having a parent with AUD doesn’t automatically mean you’ll develop the condition yourself. That said, you are four times more likely to develop it than someone who doesn’t have a parent with AUD.
Research suggests that about one in 10 children lives with a parent who has an alcohol use disorder, and about one in 5 adults lived with a person who used alcohol when they were growing up. Parents with an AUD may have difficulty providing children with a safe, loving environment, which can lead to long-term emotional and behavioral consequences. Growing up with a parent living with alcohol use disorder can have negative effects on children, including mental health issues, such as depression and anxiety, and behavioral problems, such as aggression.
Even if a child has inherited genetic factors that predispose them to AUD, environment, lifestyle, and overall mental health all play a role. The ACA has group meetings (based on the 12-step principles of “Alcoholics Anonymous”) that are specifically designed to help adult children overcome the lasting damage of parental drinking. They may be able to recommend the next steps, including referring you to a mental health professional if necessary. Studies show that children affected by parental drinking may develop serious problems in adulthood.
Alcoholism is called a family disorder because it affects everyone who cares about the addicted person. Our experts continually monitor the health and wellness space, and we update our articles when new information becomes available. Rebecca Strong is a Boston-based freelance writer covering health and wellness, fitness, food, lifestyle, and beauty. Her work has also appeared in Insider, Bustle, StyleCaster, Eat This Not That, AskMen, and Elite Daily.
The most critical factors include the age of the child, the duration of the trauma during development, and the ability of the child to have support within the family or from an outside source. When you grow up in a home with one or more alcoholic parents, the impact of the dysfunction reverberates throughout your life. Children of alcoholics are more anxious and insecure because of the lack of parental attachment. The lack of emotional support at home can lead to mental health problems later in life. Although people with AUD aren’t “bad” people (or “bad” parents), their alcohol use can create a home environment not suited for a child.