Author: James Anderson

Drug & Alcohol Recovery: Love & Romance

Finding effective communication strategies in recovery and developing these strategies alongside peers is necessary to ensure that they are ready to be employed in a romantic setting. Without practicing these strategies ahead of time, miscommunication in relationships can be common. As a result, an individual may inadvertently erect unnecessary emotional barriers between themselves and their partner, compromising the relationship. There are risks and rewards to having romantic relationships while in recovery, generally more risks. Yet, there are more rewards to having strong, supportive friendships and people around you who support your recovery.

Prepare to Cope with Stress

1. Developing these skills and routines in a safe and sober recovery environment can ensure that they are practiced and applicable to aid in the development of romantic relationships.
2. It is a time when many people relapse, as they feel unable to cope with the PAWS symptoms.
3. After reading the information in this article, think about whether you want to remain in a relationship.
4. While it’s best to wait until you’ve been sober for quite some time, dating in recovery can still work out.
5. Learning to tackle your dependency is just one piece of a larger puzzle that includes learning to create healthy relationships with yourself, others, and real-life situations.

If the relationship or the person is right for you, they can wait until you’re able to get and stay sober with the help of addiction treatment programs. When you are newly sober, you have not had the time to develop healthy ways of dealing with life and the emotions that come with it. This means that whenever you are feeling uncomfortable, you are likely to turn to the other person in the relationship for comfort. If you do this, you will not have the chance to develop healthy coping mechanisms, which is an integral part of the early recovery process. The relationship is also more likely to go wrong if you have not taken the time to learn how to regulate your own emotions first.

Make sure your partner is supportive of your recovery

Some relationship difficulties result in arguments or mistreatment. These unpleasant feelings may be additional triggers for a recovering addict. In turning to seek some form of consolation for the pain, this may lead to a relapse.

Replacing drugs and alcohol with relationships in recovery

This isn’t bad—it’s normal to form strong bonds with people you go through emotional experiences with, like the experience of treatment and recovery, but it’s important that these bonds stay platonic. While being in a relationship with someone also in recovery might seem like a good strategy, due to the understanding and accountability you can afford each other, it may have more downsides than upsides. For instance, two people in recovery may be more likely to relapse together, or if just one relapses, may cause the other to, as well. Or, the relationship could end, causing one person to relapse and making the other feel culpable, possibly triggering a relapse for themselves.

Even if romantic relationships aren’t the main focus, it’s important to make sure that healthy relationships are a primary goal of addiction recovery. It is suggested that people in recovery wait a full year before engaging in romantic relationships. This provides enough time to focus solely on their mental health and well-being while also learning how to deal with the emotional aspects of romance that can negatively impact the recovery journey. There is no specific “date” when an individual can begin pursuing romance in recovery.

Many people become involved with a romantic relationship too early, only to find themselves relapsing or involved in codependency. Setting behavioral boundaries for yourself and potential partners is important to prevent triggering extreme emotions. This should not be done in a controlling way, however, because other people should feel free to live their own lives as they see fit. Nevertheless, letting a potential partner know how certain experiences might be potentially triggering will help both parties engage with each other in a safer way. Romance can sometimes become all-consuming, to the point at which people lose themselves and ignore their goals. During recovery, your primary objective should be to remember who you are, build self-esteem, and avoid relapsing.

Preparing to Pursue Love in Recovery

The idea that recovery should be wholly an individual journey reinforces the idea that addiction is solely a character flaw. That idea has been disproven by loads of research, and although individual recovery is critically important, so is relationship recovery. I have never met someone on a solid recovery path who wasn’t engaged with strong social supports.

He spent his career working under the board-certified Addictionologist Dr. Rohit Adi. His experience includes working with families during their loved one’s stay in treatment, helping those with substance abuse issues find treatment, and teaching life skills to patients in a recovery atmosphere. Though he has worked in many different areas of rehabilitation, the majority of his time was spent working one on one with patients who were actively withdrawing from drugs. Withdrawal and the fear of going through it is one biggest reason why an addict continues to use and can be the most difficult part of the rehabilitation process. His experience in the withdrawal atmosphere has taught him that regardless of what approach a person takes to get off drugs, there are always mental and emotional obstacles that need to be overcome.

While dating can be difficult for anyone, regardless of sobriety status, it’s worth acknowledging that it can be particularly difficult for those in recovery. That said, know that you can always lean on your support systems, whether that be sober friends, close family members, our experts at Recovery Care. Sober dating may not always be easy, but if you’re willing to take the time and put yourself and your sobriety first, you’re more likely to find a partner you can be truly happy with. “Love addiction” refers to the euphoria many people experience during the honeymoon phase of a relationship, and getting “addicted” to love during recovery can present unique challenges. It’s not uncommon for people early in recovery to turn to someone else to have their needs fulfilled, avoid fear and emotional pain, or solve problems.

Having an external person validate you, or “fix” you, can be very tempting, but it’s ultimately harmful to your recovery. This month is February, which means love is in the air (and Valentine’s chocolate is on sale). However, for people in recovery, relationships may not come so easily. In an effort to help you form healthy relationships while in recovery, here are some do’s and don’ts from Pittsburgh’s leading addiction treatment center, Recovery Care. Dating in recovery entails knowing how to respect yourself, forming solid relationships with other people based on respect and trust, and navigating day-to-day stressors with healthy coping mechanisms.

This includes being able to communicate openly and honestly, setting boundaries, and maintaining healthy levels of independence. If you don’t yet know what you like and what you don’t like, it is impossible to pick someone who matches a healthy criteria for a romantic partnership. Be open and honest about your past and express your need for support during your recovery journey. It is better for a partner to know what you are going through, than to discover it too late. Extreme emotions–both positive and negative–are common triggers for relapsing. In many cases, addiction is often the result of trying to guard against such feelings in the first place.

Ultimately, your loved ones must be willing to reconnect and try to rebuild your relationship, which can be a vulnerable decision if they’ve been hurt in the past. There’s a chance that your loved one may not be open to it, depending on your history. Repairing relationships is a critical part of 12-step programs and one of the four supporting pillars of recovery, according to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA). At the beginning of this article, we mentioned a year as being a decent amount of time to wait before you get into a relationship.